I love the idea of having a doula at my birth, but my husband isn’t on board. How do I explain to him that you won’t be taking his place?
Several years ago I made a handy infographic on this very topic. You can see it below. This is a topic that comes up fairly often, and not just in reference to dads, even though that’s how I originally made the infographic. Partners, moms, sisters, best friends. They all want to know if a doula is going to replace the need for them in the birthing room (if they have been requested to be present). While common, I do want to clear up that misconception. A doula does not take the place of anyone! Not the father, the partner, the sister, the nurse or the care provider. Every one of the people there has a part to play. The doula is an additional support.
If this infographic doesn't help, point him to families who have previously used a doula. Ask your friends to advocate for you! I've heard from several clients whose partners were hesitant to hire a doula, only to rave about having said doula after the birth. Find someone your husband personally knows to help paint a better picture of what a doula does.
Help a sister out! Let me know in the comments how your doula helped, not replaced, your partner (or you if you’re the partner) during birth!
Tracy Abney is a certified birth and bereavement doula serving Huntsville, Madison and other parts of north Alabama.